Won’t You Find It In Your Heart To Help?

Friends, your neighbors are suffering. They may act like they are bearing up well, but in reality, they are fearful. Fearful and tired and worried. Many of them in the west have not the rain for weeks. Many of them in the east have not seen the sun for weeks. Some of them are overwhelmed by the prospect of so much sun on so many consecutive days. Others are overwhelmed by the prospect of so much snow on so many consecutive days. They are not sure how much more they can stand. Many are at the breaking point.

Now is the time to act. Now is the time to step up and ease their suffering.

Those of you in the west, please take an empty watertight container – a jar, a jug, a soda bottle – and clean it thoroughly. Then ship the empty container to a friend in the East, with return postage.

Those of you in the east, please take the watertight container and pack it full of snow. Then ship it back to your friend in the west. It will melt along the way. The mailmen will wonder how a package that got mailed with so little postage is now really heavy, but they’ll figure that their counterparts back east are morons or they wouldn’t be spending their lives tramping through snow that’s piled higher than they are tall.

Those of you in the west, take the container to your nearest local reservoir and pour it in.

If we all step up, we can exact astonishing social and hydraulic change. The level of the snow in the east will go down. The level of the reservoirs in the west will go up. The people of the east can walk their streets again without fear of avalanche. The people of the west can swim in their pools again without fear of rationing. The tradeoff may not seem fair, but so be it.

Think of the transcontinental goodwill we can inspire. We will be a nation united in solving each other’s problems. We will engender a higher level of tolerance and understanding. No longer will westerners want to reach through the phone lines on conference calls and strangle their eastern colleagues bragging about how hardy they are. No longer will easterners want to reach through the phone lines on conference calls and strangle their western colleagues bragging about driving to work with the top down.

We will remember anew that we are one nation, one commonwealth, one country, working together to solve each other’s most pressing problems.

Won’t YOU find it in your heart to help?

 

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About middleagecranky

The Middle-Age Cranky blog is written by baby boomer Howard Baldwin, who finds the world, while occasionally wondrous, increasingly aggravating.
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2 Responses to Won’t You Find It In Your Heart To Help?

  1. Starcoal2000@aol.com says:

    I will help. Send me a beer and i will drink it, fill the bottle with snow and send it back to you.

    • LOL! That reminds me of the story of the dying Irishman who asked his friend to pour a bottle of rare whiskey over his grave when he was gone. His friend assured him that he would, and added, “Do you mind if I strain it through my kidneys first?”

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