2010 Gift-Giving Suggestions

In middle age, the gift-giving element of the holiday season seems to lose its charm. Goodness knows you don’t need more stuff, and the idea of shopping in an actual mall is enough to bring on a three-month bout of agoraphobia.

If you’re childless like us, shopping and gift-giving seems even less enticing. I bake cookies for the neighbors, deposit money in the nieces’ and nephews’ 529 accounts for college tuition, and write a check to a local charity. Done.

That doesn’t mean, however, that I don’t have some strong suggestions for what other people should get. Herewith are my gift ideas for this year’s holiday season.

For the developers of TiVo: my eternal gratitude

For Heidi Klum: new Project Runway judges, preferably ones with taste (Gretchen Jones? Really?)

For designers Austin Scarlett and Santino Rice: a second season on the road

For Sarah Palin: a dictionary

For Bristol Palin: propriety

For the Dancing With The Stars producers: a dictionary with the definition of star highlighted

For the state of California: political candidates that aren’t either Democratic retreads or Republican novices

For politicians everywhere: the realization that the answer is neither big government nor small government, but rather effective government

For President Obama: the ability to deliver the change he promised us two years ago

For our soldiers in the Middle East: a one-way ticket home

For the people they leave behind: two-way dialogues that promote peace

For the NFC West: a prayer that a team with a .500 record doesn’t win the division, because that would be really embarrassing

For the AFC West: ditto

For Stanford football coach Jim Harbaugh: a burning desire to emulate Joe Paterno

For Hollywood: the realization that just because a movie is loud doesn’t mean it’s exciting

For the producers of CSI: the realization that just because coroners use rib spreaders doesn’t mean it’s entertaining to watch (or hear)

For my niece: a healthy baby in March

For her husband: the sense not to name it after one of the San Francisco Giants

For my friends: a holiday season overflowing with the warmth of the people they love and the absence of people they don’t

For my readers: lots more crankiness and nostalgia in 2011


About middleagecranky

The Middle-Age Cranky blog is written by baby boomer Howard Baldwin, who finds the world, while occasionally wondrous, increasingly aggravating.
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6 Responses to 2010 Gift-Giving Suggestions

  1. Colleen Roe Simmie says:

    Hi Howard, we probably didn’t know each other as I graduated from Gunn in ’75, but we come from the same “place” in oh so many ways. I am friends with Heidi, Dan Spitzer, Reid Yalom, John Place and others that I’m sure we know in common. Anyway,
    I enjoy your posts and wanted to say so to you directly.

    My holiday is tricky as I have not only 21 and 18 year old daughters, but I have my bonus child who is a 9 year old son. My son, dear and earnest, asked me yesterday what I want for Christmas and I couldn’t think of a thing. I’m trying to de-clutter a large house full of junk! I’ve taken to knitting scarves for everyone in my family. Seems homemade is appropriate.

    Best Regards,

    • I remember you, Colleen. Thanks for writing.

      One of the greatest things my mother did before she passed away was organize all the family photos into the scrapbooks for the kids. That might be a fun gift/project, so that your kids know who everyone was.

      Best for the holidays!

  2. Lindsey says:

    So sweet- I love it!! Thank you.
    Since Uribe was traded, that helps the likelihood that there won’t be a Giant in the baby’s name:)

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