It’s a funny thing about relationships. They go along for a while and they’re fine. You’re getting to know each other, and then things progress and suddenly you realize the other one knows more and more about you. What you think. Who your friends are. Where you bank.
When you’re in a relationship, you get to know the other one’s idiosyncrasies, their quirks. Sometimes one of you can get the other one to adjust to those idiosyncrasies, so there’s a level of comfort and familiarity. This is how I do things. If you’re serious about the relationship, you adapt.
That’s fine for a while. But then things change. The other one slows down, even gets bloated. It’s not that they look different, necessarily, but they’re just not as easy to deal with as they used to be. They get crankier, more likely to stop what they’re doing, even if you’re in the middle of doing something together. Especially if you’re in the middle of doing something together.
No amount of coaxing will improve the situation. Then one of you has to walk away for a few minutes while the other regroups, figures out how to proceed, and you go back to what you both were doing.
And even though you know that the other one has adapted to your quirks, there’s always a little resentment on your part. You’re pretty sure that you don’t have as many quirks as they do, and by the way, their quirks are harder to figure out and quicker to show up more often than yours are.
Frankly, you begin to wonder if the whole relationship is worth it.
But oh my goodness – starting all over again? Just the idea of it is petrifying. Finding a younger version of what you already have, wondering if it’s the right thing for you, going through the tribulations that always pop up early in a relationship. And the cost – it’s never cheap. You’re always shelling out for something you didn’t expect to.
And then you go through the whole rigmarole all over again – telling them what you think, who your friends are, where you bank. And the quirks – are you going to adapt to me or am I going to adapt to you or are we just going to end up putting up with each other? Is this relationship doomed to take the same path as the previous one?
As it happens, I’m confident that that’s exactly what’s going to happen — someday. But in the meantime, I’m very happy with my new Lenovo ThinkPad running Microsoft Windows 7.